The Truth Will Set You Free .....
November 24, 2011 - By Andrew Tiger Lee
Another comedy skit from me, what else is new? A lot of good humor trying to take the anger off why America is so screwed up today. Now this time it is a thanksgiving comedy skit.
Top 20 jokes for this thanksgiving some of them are from the NY-NJ Tiger Swing adventures.
20. According to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, (OECD) US ranks 28th in life expectancy and we pay the most for healthcare. Worse we are about to get shafted again by the new healthcare. Talk about getting the shaft, someone just got ***** in the @ss! *fart sounds* and we give money that we don't have to countries that are poor excuse me we pee on and bomb and pay high taxes watching Snagooki! (Snooki and Gaga Stupid)
19. A Manchester man in the UK admits of having a diet coke addiction after downing 18 cans a day!!! He can't leave the house without a diet coke cola that irks his family and has yet to have dental or medical problems. ATL: If you want to be part of the family and not be fat, stop drinking Coke Cola!!! They are part of the Old World Order!!!!! This is what Occupy Wall Street is lockjaw on this issue.
18. When I started to hear Christmas music already in many stores, I realize how screwed up people are. You know what this tells you about Madoff and Obama. They are both contagious!!!!
17. This is just in today: Sleazeball Jerry Sandusky is now accused of sexually abusing one of his own grandchildren. ATL: Two jokes from this: You know what this tells you about Herman Cain?? He is contagious, and the 9-9-9 marks on his body is spreading! The second joke you know what this tells you about colleges. Penn State is just another college like everyone else manufacturing fakes!
16. Now Turkey cookers are now considered a homeland security threat according to the DHS. ATL: You know who is a national security threat? Osama Bin Bernanke!
15. Shifting gears to my adventures, Day 1 of the NY-NJ Tiger Swing started on October 15th, 2011, When I was getting a ride back by Kim Hirten's parents back to Manhattan, Christine texted me that the hatchback is going to open. Hold on to your hat!!!! I should have listened to Christine! My Tiger Woods Hat flew off the car, good thing I was able to get it back. I texted her and the whole team was laughing. Christine said this "Tiger you got spunked"!!
14. I traveled a total 100 miles give or take for 38 days = 17 sport cases. At least I know where I am going and thinking at least I don't have the Rick Perry Disease!!!
13. Back to politics, Obama pardons two turkeys named peace and liberty. What a joke Odunnerhead is. You know what he meant to say, he pardons dopey, and knuckleheads including himself!
12. A Russian TV female reporter gives Obama the middle finger on live TV. ATL: You go girl!
11. Fitch Ratings Agency lowers Portugal's credit rating to junk. Will this be the first country that goes under? ATL: looks like Ferdinand Magellan won't be explore the world anymore! *Does George Carlin fart sounds*
10. Now a report has surfaced that J-lo or Jennifer Lopez faked Fiat Ads set in the Bronx according to a celebrity website. They said that they hired a body double to do the commercial. It only sold 16,000 cars since October 31st. ATL: Since this economy is fake, Products today are fake! Buy Local!
9. Getting back to the NY-NJ Tiger Swing in review: I had a very interesting 38 day adventure that started in Jersey City, NJ and ended this past Monday at Hunter College in the Upper East Side. I had 13 day periods where my Swing got off to a hot blazing start. The next 12 days after, it turns cold very cold nothing went my way. Then the final 13 days, I left a big fire trail. You can say I was Hot n Cold. Then someone asked me are you Katy Perry? I said shadddd upp!!!!
8. Speaking of thanksgiving which is today November 24th, If you really want to know what makes America so fat, An average thanksgiving meal: 2640 calories. Champp's Nacho's with cheese and all the good stuffing: 3,240 calories!!! Gee wiz!! I hope you got enough Pepto Bismol!
7. Okay, I am staying on Thanksgiving jokes, What are we really celebrating in America?
Okay here comes my rant "Happy bloody holiday. Isn't it funny that people talk about everything they are thankful for today. This is the only time of year it is mentioned. I'm thankful for my family and friends and soldiers and blah blah blah blah. How about being thankful for the thousands of Indians your country killed in order to be what it is now. How about all the innocent civilians our troops are sent to kill and bomb including children. It's just another holiday showcasing American greed and apathy. People dont hate us because we are "free." Hell we aren't even free. I hope most of you get trampled to death at Black Friday sales tomorrow.thankful for the thousands of Indians your country killed in order to be what it is now. How about all the innocent civilians our troops are sent to kill and bomb including children. It's just another holiday showcasing American greed and apathy. People dont hate us because we are "free." Hell we aren't even free. Why do you think the World doesn't like us!"
What does this joke I am trying to say here (What the US will say) : We are number #1 in the world and we don't give a shit on anyone. I don't care if I bomb innocent people, pepper spray people, etc. That is what the police, the politicians, etc. would say. You know I would do like what China is going. Giving financial terrorists including Osama Bin Bernake "The five finger death", I would rather have my money with the Chinese instead of having it in the US just look at what happened to MF Global. or Mother effers Global!
and the story
6. If you don't like my violent ideas, then what can i tell you? You know how kids are drilled with all these lies and told that parents are authority figures. Kids never question they stroke the parents, and the parents stroke the kids and they all stroke each other. Then they act all fucked up when they come to shows like mine!
5. Back to the turkey jokes and all the Hoop blah: In today's news: In the Headline reads "What a turkey! Outrage as Obama leaves God out of Thanksgiving address"
He did a speech talking about expressing his gratitude to the US troops. What a joke to express gratitude. All he does is send US troops to die in the field while He gets to see which big dick is about to be let out before they attack him! The bad part according to multiple media outlets including the mail online in the UK, he left out god in his thanksgiving address. You what this tells you about Obama. He is trying to make you think, he is god. God doesn't give a fuck about America. There are other areas, he is god to follow! Do you think he is going to pick out of his favorites? America prays to god that they destroy their enemies, or God was on our side of the whole battle. Someone is going to be disappointed!
You know what this tells you about Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein's words about doing God's Work. He is a disease!! He has no conscience that's all!
4. Here is a good fail for thanksgiving travelers:
3. On the lighter side of the comedy skit back to the NY-NJ Tiger Adventures in Review: Philip Fisher of the Stuvyesant Lady Red Vixens volleyball coach has announced his retirement after 13 years. Fisher would have ended in style since they were the #1 seed. But they were Shanghai'd by #4 seed The Francis Lewis Lady Patriots, 25-14, 24-26, 23-25. The eventual City Champions back to back Cardozo Lady Judges won it all. Here is a good response: Philip Fisher was OWNED by the Patriot Act, BUT was overruled by the Judges!!!
2. Here is a really good epic fail from failblog.org A Man was owned by a turkey look at the video see here
1. Number one reason why the World is screwed up is America's number one problem in 12 words "I don't give a shit!. the government will take care of it" ?